America's First Theme Park Without A Theme

Two days after we hit the real Knott’s theme park we ventured out to the mutated mega-ride farm and then we went again the next week for Faith’s Birthday. I know there seems to be some confusion; why would I continue to go if I have such disdain for the place (as written from my trip in 2006 and Calico)? Well, first and foremost because it’s free…almost. For a month out of the year I can take myself and another person for free and then up to 5 more people for $12. That’s a hard deal to pass up even with my lofty principals.

Also, maybe it’s being a year out from having Disneyland Passes that I no longer need to juxtapose the two parks. On the other hand, maybe it was just cleaner this time around. Things certainly didn’t seem as dreary and decrepit as they did when we went in 2006. Of course, that’s not to say that it was on par with the upkeep of Disneyland but then again should I expect them to be able to keep up with that behemoth monster of a kiddy company?

Besides, it being cheap to go and that the place seemed a little tidier, the main reason for our not just going once but twice…Faith. My daughter loved it! She loved the log ride, talked about how scared she was to go down the drop, but wanted to go again. She loved going through the Calico mines, riding the stagecoach, holding and kissing toads, riding the Mexican teacups, the racecars, the snoopy bus, and tugboat. A week has passed and she still talks about what rides she rode while there. Seeing her so giddy with excitement makes the whole trip worth the effort. Her exhilaration reminds me of being young and how much I loved my parents taking me when I was her age.

This however, does not mean that I am an avid fan of the Cedar Rapids Co.. There is still much to be discourage about in this theme park and to be honest if I paid $40 a person to get in I would probably be a down right, stark-raving, lunatic.

First lets begin with what my title suggest, that this once was America’s first theme park is no longer a theme park. Despite the fact that Grand Rapid’s still touts this as their slogan! The truth is there is no theme to this park. Everything is mish-mashed together making it an eye sore.

While taking in the gun fighting show (which was actually pretty entertaining despite a couple innuendos) every 10-20 seconds a coaster whizzed by our heads making a loud raucous all the while little teeny poppers were screaming at the top of there lungs. Thus ruining the whole effect of being sucked into the old Wild West.

We took a real steam train around a little loop. It could have been cool for the little youngsters but all there was to see were weeds and great towering pylons. While on the stage coach we could see behind the buildings into the trash littered break spots and scary Halloween haunt mazes.

I could go on and on with how the themes are ruined by there colossal coasters, but you get the point. It’s not that I’m against the massive rides, in fact I like going on them myself. It’s more the principal. It just seems like if that’s what this company wants to be known for then invest in and make a commitment to delivering Southern California with the best rides around. Out do Six Flags. Get rid of the theme park altogether and simply be an amusement park or a Coaster park. But stop already with selling us on the idea that this is still Knott’s in something rather than in name only.

Though the Theme Park that is not a Theme Park annoys me to no extent that is not what would drive me insane if I had to pay the outrageous prices. It’s that after you pay to get into the park, they want you to continue to pay to ride some of the coasters. Why should I have to pay more money to go on a rock climbing wall or to be bungeed through the air? You have already taken a big chunk of my money to get into the park presumably to ride the rides. So why do you add these attractions that end up costing more?

Beyond that, what is the deal with the wasted space of Ghost Town. Why do I want to pay ridiculous prices to shop for knick-knacks? The place is lined with little craft spots, vendor upon vendor piled on top of one another trying to get a small piece of my cash. If you don’t have enough imagination to actually do something with the wasted space then just tear it down and do what your good at, put up another monster roller coaster!

Lastly, all add that there is a possibility that I am just venting and angry because I am still bitter that they took out the Soap Box Racers!