Carnie Exhibits

I know that I just posted a blog on my trip to the LA Fair on my other site and probably have no business posting something here since it's not really a offbeat-travel-location (though it took me about 45 minutes to get there), but there were a couple whacky side shows we check out while we were there.

It was funny, standing in front of these two spots really wanting to go in and seeing my in-laws face thinking "she has the curiosity bug as well". Still it took a couple minutes to muster up the courage to state the obvious- that we should really check out these carnie exhibits.

The first was the smallest horse in the world! Now we walked up a trailer, paid a dollar and then looked "down" upon the horse. So it's quite easy to tell that this is a gimmick and there is an optical illusion at play. However the horse was still small and angry. I suppose he was tired of being gazed upon while in his tiny jail cell all day.

Then I went in and checked out the worlds largest Steer. Now though I've grown up in cow country, I am still ignorant to the bovine ways. It is quite possible that this is not the largest cow in the world, but MAN he was still intimidating! My head only came to the top of his legs.

Klatch On and Don't Let Go

Awhile back Jonathan Deane posted a response on my blog about our trip to Handel's Ice cream and pointed out that the company was based in Ohio. He then asked if anything good could come from the IE. Now I had already been aware that Handel's was from Ohio, but still I was speechless, for I could not think of one good product that has come out IE. But then, a couple weeks a go I came across an article in the Press Enterprise about a local coffee house and a Barista who won #2 place in the WBC (I didn't know there was such a thing, but OK). This is the highest rated Barista in America and her coffee shops located in my very own Inland Empire. So while Kellee was in the hospital I decided to make a little trip and stop by this award winning coffee shop to see if it was really up to all the hype.


I ordered a iced almond roca mocha; I figured that I couldn't really go wrong since I had one or two at Disneyland and sort of knew what was in store. The best part was I didn't have to order a Venti- I could just call it what it was...large. Then I took a sip and to be honest, in that moment I knew what Keanu Reeve's charcter Neo in the Matrix felt like when he woke up out of the Matrix. I woke up for the first time in my coffee experience. Why had I wasted so many moments at the Green mermaid chain, sucking down their inferior fast-food/drink processed product?

I took Kellee back that day on the way home from the hospital. She was in awe as well. This is my new coffee spot on the way to visit my daughter or to go to church in the mornings! Below is all their awards and an article from the press interprise.

The proof is in the pudding:

2003 United States Barista Champion
2007 United Sates Barista Champion
2004 3rd place United States Barista Champion
2004 Western Regional Barista Champion
2005 Western Regional Barista Champion
2006 Western Regional Barista Champion
2007 Western Regional Barista Champion
2003 1st, 2nd, 3rd place California Regional Barista Champion
“Best Espresso in America” LA Times “Best Espresso in the World” WBC 2007

Inland barista takes silver in world competition; her espresso wins gold



Don't let the capri pants, sandals and giggle fool you. Heather Perry, 24, doesn't joke about her java.
Perry ranks first in the nation and second in the world when it comes to making coffee.

"It's what I love, it's what I know," said Perry, who makes her brew in the Inland area.
Perry understands how coffee beans behave; she can extract the perfect balance of flavor from them and can talk about their characteristics as a sommelier would talk about wine.

"This tastes like sweet mud, sort of like rain on grass," she said, slurping her coffee with a spoon on a recent morning.

Perry knows how to cup, or properly taste coffee, and has traveled the world scouting the finest beans for her family's business, Coffee Klatch. The business has retail stores in Rancho Cucamonga and San Dimas and a roastery in Upland. As the director of training for the family business, Perry doesn't prepare customers' orders daily, but sometimes patrons can get lucky enough to find her behind the espresso machine.

Heather Perry won second place in a world barista competition held recently in Tokyo. For the competition, she crafted an espresso blend that she describes as having chocolate notes with an orange citrus background, subtle spice and hints of berries with a honey finish. It won first place.

It was her passion and knowledge of the industry that earned her second place in the World Barista Championship earlier this month in Tokyo, said her father, Mike Perry.

The win is the highest finish by an American and a woman in the competition. Perry also won first for her espresso, which she crafted with her father.

"While the area has not been known as a hotbed for coffee and espresso, the success of Heather -- plus our espresso being ranked best in the world -- has put Southern California on the world coffee map," Mike Perry said.

To compete at the world level, the coffee guru had to edge out 47 competitors at the United States Barista Championship in May. But Heather Perry still isn't satisfied.

"I've never taken a loss so hard," the Ontario woman said, referring to her second-place finish in Tokyo. "I'm pretty bummed about it. It's like I tasted gold but went away with silver."

In a fusion of "Iron Chef" and Olympic figure skating, the world's best baristas are judged on technical skills, presentation, style and taste. Each competitor has 15 minutes to wow the judges with 12 beverages: four espressos, four cappuccinos and four signature drinks showcasing their creativity.

Everything, from spills to the judges' overall impressions, is evaluated. Two of the judges don't even taste the drinks. They are there to watch that each action is performed just so, from the grinding of the coffee and the tamping of the grounds into the filter to the timing of the espresso shots.

"It's about consistency," said John Sanders, chairman of the technical standards committee for the World Barista Championship.

"It sounds so easy; make the 12 best espresso shots of your life," Heather Perry said. "But it is so difficult."
The baristas also must describe their espresso blends and the science behind why they chose them.

"They have to have intimate knowledge of their blend," said contest judge Tracy Allen, owner of Seattle-based Zoka Coffee Roaster & Tea Co. "It's like a symphony. At some point you want strings, brass and percussion, but when it all plays nicely together, it creates harmony."


Heather Perry has traveled the world to find the best coffee beans for her parents' business, Coffee Klatch. The business has stores in Rancho Cucamonga and San Dimas, and a roastery in Upland.

Heather Perry finessed the judges with her extreme confidence and knowledge of her blend, Allen said.

"She gets it," he said. "And she explains it in a way you would only dream a server would explain the special to you."

Producing 'God Shots'
The road to the competition wasn't easy. Heather Perry began preparing in January, spending her weekends at the family's roastery, playing with various coffees to come up with the perfect espresso blend. It's the grind that is often misunderstood, she said.

"It's like brewing through a glass of sand or a glass of rocks," she said.

If the grind is too fine, the espresso will taste overly extracted and bitter. But too coarse and it can become flavorless, she said.

Perry and her father also worked with different roasts. Too dark and the beans will taste burnt and won't produce enough "crema," the golden layer on the surface of properly made espresso. Too light, and the espresso will taste sour. The amount of coffee, the temperature it's brewed and how long it's brewed also factor into producing the perfect shot of espresso.

But when it's done right, there's no mistaking a "God shot," or perfect shot, she said. Heather Perry describes her winning blend as having beautiful chocolate notes with an orangy citrus background, subtle spice and hints of winelike berries with a honey finish.

Her signature drink, Espresso in the Clouds, included steamed milk, infused with orange and lemon zest, cinnamon, ginger and vanilla bean. Perry prepared the mixture into a drinkable whipped-cream texture and then topped it with a rich, hand-whipped layer of espresso, egg yolk and brown sugar. The flavors highlighted the flavors of her espresso, she said.

"I was very happy with my drinks and my performance," she said. "I just didn't have what the judges were looking for that day."

Her second-place finish in the world competition has only strengthened her yearning for first place.
"Competing has made me a better barista," she said.

That's the purpose of the competition, coffee experts said.

"A barista isn't just someone who pushes buttons behind the espresso machine in a wrinkled apron. Their heart, mind and spirit are wrapped up in making quality drinks. These competitions are celebrating the craft," said Sherri Johns, president of Oregon-based Whole Cup Coffee Consulting and a founder of the United States Barista Championship.

Kevin Smith's Roadside Attractions Part 4

Kevin Smith's Roadside Attractions Part 3

kevin smith road side attractions 2

Kevin Smith's Roadside Attractions Part 1

It seems I now have a famous face to back up my passion for Roadside Attractions. This is actually pretty entertaining.

Mystery House

The house is not as scary as the person on the porch!

Waiting in the gift shop.

The Winchester Mystery house was a must see for me as we headed north. It was in my top places to visit on our trip, the others being: The Mystery Spot, Golden Gate Bridge, and The Dysfection building. We almost missed out on going due to our tight scheduling, but we decided to make the stop on our way home.

Most of you know the story, the widow Winchester believed she was being plagued by ghost that died at the hands of her family's Winchester rifle. In order to appease the ghost she had to keep building on to her estate. So she hand a team of workers that kept working around the clock, day and night.

A window in the floor

To be honest, while it was a great tour and very interesting, I didn’t see the overall weirdness and creepiness that others had described. True, she had a fascination with the number 13 and cobwebs; there were stairs and doors that lead to nowhere, and a chimney that was never completed for 14 or so fireplaces. Sure, it was interesting that the front door was only used twice in its existence because she was trapped in the house after an earthquake and felt that the spirits were angry with her for spending to much time on the front of the house. Staircases that were in the shape of W and connected rooms, cabinet doors that opened up to walls, all the pillars placed upside down for good luck, and a séance room that the widow used to spy on her help were all fascinating, but the way people worked themselves up over this place I expected a little more.

A very scary shadow
Cob web windows- just like mine.

A very long way to get a short distance

A cool leopard tile fire place

Upside down column, just like every other one in the house- done for good luck.

A rarely used front door- 2x

I suppose I expected every room to be creepy and weird, things upside down that should be right side up and so forth. Was she really crazy or just an amateur architect (she only used a professional for one room and with the other rooms if you disagreed or offered an opinion you would probably be fired) that botched up more times than you can count?

So while I had a good time and enjoyed the tour and was just excited to finally be in this house that so many people have told me about, I would say it was the bottom of the 4 places we went. I still recommend checking it out but realize it’s a little expensive and probably not as weird as you are imagining it should be.

Room 1200

It had been a long day; no make that a long two days. Excruciating. I hurt from my feet to lower back. When we got back to the hotel, all I wanted to do was relax. Unwind. Chill out. I had bought a cigar on the Wharf from a pompous owner of a generic company called STOOGIES. It was the best I could do on short notice and limited knowledge of the city. The family owned brand from the Canary Islands would have to work.

I waited for the right moment and after two days of touring I was ready to smoke. Faith was passing out in her bed; Kellee was putting on her nightgown and getting ready to settle in for the night. So, I made my way out to the patio with a Pepsi in one hand and my cigar in the other. We had a first floor room which was nice because the patio was open and led to the walkway and around to the pool; not that we used the pool but it was nice to know that the option was available.

Kellee stepped out to the patio and pulled up a chair, she was in her nightgown but it a quite dark morning and no one was stirring. I lit my cigar and filled my mouth with an aroma full of succulent cancer. It wasn’t the greatest cigar and I was sure that I would not finish it, but for the moment it was doing the trick. Everything was peaceful. I was beginning to relax from a strenuous day of exploring. Then Kellee went over to the sliding door to slide it closed just a little more so that the smoke would not seep into the room (though the smoke was blowing the other way and not affecting her or the room). All of the sudden I hear from behind me the sliding door close and a quick sudden ping; stress just swelled up again. Unbeknownst to Kellee the sliding door had a hair-trigger pin that automatically delivered itself into the pre-drilled hole at the top of the slider, ultimately locking us out.

We left the Key cards inside the room. This meant that I would have to go and humble myself before the Honorable and Holy Hotel Host. I suppose I should back track and tell you that before I ever cut the tip of my cigar, I had gone and complained to his Holy Host, the Ruler of the Best Western about my living conditions; there was no cable for the internet, The movie channels (HBO and Showtime) were not available as promised, and the air conditioning was not working (though it was only 66 degrees outside). So, I made a small stink and the all-knowing 18 year old tried his best to make the accommodations work, all the while doing his best to hide his frustration that came from me disturbing his night. He had his security guard still a cable for me from another room and promised to have the air fixed in the morning, unfortunately he couldn’t fix the cable TV which was alright with me, since all I really cared about was the sports channels. Everything was agreed upon, the stink was made and cleared up.

Now, here I had to walk back to the throne-counter and ask permission to have a new key (hopefully without being charged). I told the 18-year-old Best Western Night Manager-Guru my predicament. His eyes scoffed, his lips tightened and turned to a grin...the grin of power. He knew he had me and he was going to flex his mighty benevolent hand out to me, giving me a new key. There would be no more complaints. I was beaten.

I walked back to the door, ready to drift into dreams. I put my new key into the slot and pushed the door; Nothing… Nothing happened. I tried it again, again, again. A yellow light came on, not the green, everything-is- ok- go-ahead-and-enter-light, I was expecting. His highness gave me a faulty card! So I made the trip back and told him that it wasn’t working. In annoyance he gave me another one. That one wasn’t working either; something was dreadfully wrong. And then I remembered I locked the top security latch of the front door as well.

Panic was settling in, I was beginning to worry about my daughter. What if she woke up and we weren’t there? Would she start screaming? What if she hit her head or fell off the bed? Quickly as my tired feet would take me, I went back to the front counter and told him about the latch. Our eyes met, I could see it for the first time, his all-knowingness was beginning to wane, and The Best Western Night-King was unsure what to do. So he sent his trusty security guard.

Now the night watchman was of African roots and he himself sounded like Bob Marley. He too could not get the door to budge and kept going around and round with the Night-King about giving him the master key. The leader of the Western finally admitted that he did not know where this mysterious key was located and was not sure if such a device existed or was only a myth that one told weary travelers who could not get into their rooms. So, they called the voice. I’m not sure who the voice is, but the voice knew where this mythical key could be located…in the front drawer behind the Night-King's counter.

Security-reggae man grabbed a tool that was designed to pop these locks. We went to the barred door and he fumbled with the lock while I looked for elvish writings. The door was finally opened part way (by the master key, not by my finding elvish riddles). We jammed, pushed, tugged, pressed, and scrapped the security latch all to no avail. This was a new lock. Its youthfulness would not give sway. It was doing its duty and standing firm.

I was getting worried. My wife was waiting on the porch in the cold, my daughter asleep and alone. If she woke and was afraid or distressed I would most certainly have to break the window or door. It had been over an hour and we were hitting the 2 o’clock hour. I was considering a locksmith.

Then Jah-security decided that this tool was of no use and would get the tool of his youth while running wild in the shanty towns; a tire iron. He came back and wedged the bar into the sliver slot and pried, pried, pried. The youthful lock was bent and battered and in another second popped off its hinges. We both chuckled at how easy the lock came off and shook congratulatory hands. I was grateful to the shantytown security man for reconnecting me with my family and he was grateful that I gave him something interesting to do for the evening.

Kellee and I walked into our room 1200, relieved that the ordeal had come to an end. We turned on the lights and went over to give Faith a kiss…then we both inhaled and forgot to exhale for a minute. Faith was gone! I looked behind the curtains and under the bed. Kellee checked the Bathroom. Nowhere. I started to panic, panic, panic. My worst nightmare was coming true. Then we both noticed the pillow at the bottom of the bed under the blankets. Relief with it sighs came when we pulled back the sheets and found her fast asleep.

San Francisco Day 2

Faith really wanted a picture in that fountain.

My feet were aching and sore from our stroll of the city the day before and I actually thought about an alternative to taking the trip back into the city, but I didn’t want to disappoint Kellee and Faith; besides how can you go to San Francisco and not see the golden gate bridge. So I bottled up the slight pain and decided to make the journey.

When we arrived in the heart of San Francisco I was determined not to make the mistake I did the day prior and was actually feeling confident and comfortable with taking the city transit system. So, I checked my little map in my little tour guide book and we headed for the nearest bus stop. When we arrived the bus was waiting, but we had our beast ( our green stroller made by Jeep that might actually pass for a jeep). Suffice it to say, we were not ready to board and I made the decision to wait for the next bus. If I would have paid attention to our surroundings, I might not have hesitated; there were gang members playing craps, hookers swaying and a tranny traveling the street. This of course was the longest wait of our whole day.

Before, I continue I should note the frequent friendliness and courtesy we ran into on the streets. There was no less than three different times while walking or riding the Bart that someone near us would be using foul language. Upon seeing us they would apologetically say something to the effect of, “OH! I’m really sorry I didn’t see you guys.” They would then change up the conversation or quite down. This happened with different races in the best to worst parts of town. Even on the street when we were waiting for the bus we had to walk through the gang members and their craps game to get to the bus stop; they were very gracious and friendly about our doing so. From business suits to bums to bus drivers, people were warm, friendly and helpful.

Anyhow, we caught the bus and found the routes to be very easy to get around. You can get an all day pass for the buses and trolleys for $10- worth the price, since it cost $5 to ride a trolley one way anyway. As I said above the drivers were very friendly and helpful; we asked a lot of questions and they were very gracious in helping us to get where we wanted to go. A word of caution though, these buses get filled fast, so big monster strollers are not a good idea if you have little ones. We had to actually make people get out of the bus so we could get off and one time we missed our stop due to the monstrosity.

Our first stop was the Golden Gate Park. Once again I had my little traveling map out from my little tourist book and thought this will be an easy destination to get to, so I asked the bus driver to drop us off there. To which he responded, “What part?”

“Ummm…I'm not sure just the park and will find our way.”

“The park is 42 blocks wide!”

Well, dear readers I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that I missed the vastness of this park on my little tourist map! So the driver dropped us off near the Tea Gardens and some other museums. We looked around but didn’t go inside, venturing to make our way to the kids park. It took some time to get there but it was well worth the trip. It had to be one of the best children’s parks I have ever come across. The landscape was stocked with swings, ladders, slides, monkey bars and a host of other child gadgets. The best was a hill that was covered with a smooth concrete. Kids would take pieces of cardboard and climb to the top to slide down the concrete hill. We found a piece lying about and had a bit of fun ourselves.



At Hippie Hill

Ridin the WaveKick'n it

Afterwards we hopped back on the bus and made our way to the Golden Gate Bridge. We walked out on it a little ways; there were a grip of tourist all wanting to do the same thing. I’m not sure what else to say about the place except that it cool and it's San Francisco; so it really is a must if you go. One cool thing you can do is rent bikes and pedal yourself across the bridge and back- If it was just me and Kellee and she wasn’t pregnant, I would have jumped on the idea.

Holding on for dear life!Sitting on thousands of little cables

I really wanted to have kellee lay on her back while I jumped over- something about being pregnant and getting dirty ruined the pic.

That's a Hair-raising ideaFaith wanting to be like her Papa!

Afterwards we bused on to the exploritorium; beautiful architecture with a great view. The Exploritorium is a kind of hand’s on kid’s science museum. And it cost a pretty penny. Luckily we got there an hour before it closed and they let us in for free. I say we were lucky because it really wasn’t a place for three year olds. Don’t get me wrong it was interesting and fun and Faith enjoyed it, but it was just over her head and would not have been worth the money to take her.

Moving on we walked a little of the city and filled our stomachs with some sourdough bread, which is a San Franciscan thing to do…atleast that’s what tourist think. We then made one last ditch effort to try and see Lombard street (the crookedest street in the world- the name is based on the design of the street not the character of those who live on it). I had it planned out with the help of my trusty tiny tourist map, we would get bused to the top of the street and walk down (it’s a steep hill) taking plenty of pictures to commerate my genius idea. Obviously, this is not what happened. I calculated wrong and we ended up getting dropped off at the bottom. I’m not one to give up so easily and my girls are troopers, so I thought we could make this work. My legs were tired and my feet aching but I was willing to plunge ahead, a small price to pay for great family snapshots. However, When Kellee , whose pregnant feet were swollen to the size of her calves, saw the hill and the determination in my eyes burt into tears. She could go on no longer. After a short argument on seeing the error of my ways we decided to head back to the Wharf to eat and go.

Faith had talked about taking the trolley again all day, so we decided to jump on to get to the Bart. I have to admit it’s a much better ride at night.R2D2 in San Fran Trolley Time